Signs you39re dating a commitment phobe
People often mistake a commitment-phobe for the mysterious type, but that isn't the case.
They are charming, and perfect, but once they've won you over they will disappear faster than they came.Fact: Most people who are afraid to commit aren't going to come out and say it—at least not at first. I'm reformed…I think.) If you watch closely, you can see the signs sooner.Usually you don't find out until three months in or so, when he breaks things off while avoiding eye contact and mumbling something lame like, "Sorry, I'm just not ready for a serious relationship." Commitment-phobes can be sneaky. These are a typical commitment-phobe's seven biggest tells.The "commitment" doesn't need to be the big stuff, like marriage.We commitment-phones are even afraid of the little stuff.He's become so good at his single routine—night after night of beef pad Thai, Netflix bingeing, going out with his friends—that he struggles to incorporate others, a.k.a. As Einstein famously said, the definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." The logic is as sound as it is simple: If he has an unbroken track record of bachelorhood, the odds of that changing are against you. Yes, you are different—but you can casually date different just as easily as you can live happily ever after with different.
And he's way more comfortable with the former. The advanced commitment-phobe is aware of the previous telltale sign, so he tends to avoid the subject of exes.
He doesn't lie, per se, but he gives slippery answers like "I just haven't found the right person" or "I've had bad luck in dating." Press him on what worked in his past relationships, what didn't, and what he learned from them.
If he's skittish about monogamy, then the tiniest of plans for NEXT FRICKIN' THURSDAY are enough to trigger bouts of anxiety, second-guessing, and mild nausea.
You can flip this to your advantage: Suggest something fun to do together, like going to see a band you both like…two or three weeks from now.
His reaction will tell you everything you need to know. And it doesn't mean that he's dating someone else (he still might be).
But it likely means that, for whatever reason, he's not quite wired for an actual adult relationship.