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We have had our share of problems through the years and have always managed to work them out up until now.I have become depressed and I feel unimportant to him. He tells me he hates jealousy and that I should trust him, but it is hard not to feel that way when he spends so much time with her. Your husband has stepped over boundary lines in your marriage. Marriage is for two people, husband and wife, with no one else between you.
He is destroying the trust, intimacy and commitment in your marriage. If he refuses to go to counseling with you, ask him to see your pastor about this.A year ago my husband started chatting with women on the Internet. He says that the women don’t mean anything to him but he won’t quit.All his free time is spent chatting with these women. There is one woman that he seems very close to they talk everyday.He is very secretive about her and doesn’t let me see what she writes to him.My husband gets very angry when I tell him how much this hurts me.How can you be united as a couple if another woman is so important to him that he ignores your concerns and talks to her daily and keeps it secret from you?
If these relationships are not intimate or sexual than he should be able to show you all the emails he has sent and received to disprove any suspicions you have.
He is bordering on unfaithfulness, though he may not have acted it out.
You need to go to your pastor and/or a counselor even if he doesn’t come with you.
This situation may require separation if he is not willing to work on your marriage.
I do not advocate divorce, but separation may show him how serious you are about his behavior and that you will not tolerate it. What he is doing is breaking the trust in your relationship.
Trust is a very important ingredient and foundational to your marriage.